The Lighter Side
by Sintendo
Summary: What happens during downtime at Section 2? Take a peek at the lighter side of Jean and Jose Croce, The Cyborgs, and the rest of the agents of The Social Welfare Agency.
1. Chapter 1

_**The Lighter Side  
**_

**_A Gunslinger Girl fan fiction by:_**

_**Sintendo**_

Flustered and in a panic, Jean uncharacteristically forced open the door of his charge.

"Rico," he gasped, "I'm leaving for an emergency 1-week meeting in Naples."

The girl's quick reflexes allowed her to catch a rectangular object that was tossed to her.

"This is an American CIA training video that a friend of mine sent me," Jean continued, "I want you to watch it 3 times a day until I get back. Memorize everything the agents in the film say. You WILL be tested on this."

Without anything else to say, the sweat-soaked face of Jean was gone.

Bewildered, Rico examined the contents of the object in her hands.

"Ja—" She read slowly to herself, "Jack…Ass… The Movie."

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_Note: lol, I'm so hyper today…_


	2. Chapter 2

_Note: I guess my sugar-induced burst of creativity confused a handful of readers…_

_**The Lighter Side  
**_

**_A Gunslinger Girl fan fiction by:_**

_**Sintendo**_

_**The day before**_

"Jean," Jose called out the the working man, "There's a package for you."

Jean took a moment away from his computer screen to receive the brown box from his younger brother, "Ah, I've been waiting for this all week."

"It's from America," Jose noticed, "Who's it from?"

"A friend of mine," Jean said, returning to work once the package was put away in his desk, "He owed me a favor, so I asked for him to pick up some movies that aren't available here."

"Such as?"

Jean sighed and retrieved the package, tossing it to his brother, "Go ahead an open it."

Jose carefully parted the cardboard flaps, reaching into the open box and reeling in a handful of DVD cases.

"Hmm," Jose said as he shuffled through the movies, "'Enemy At The Gates', a 'James Bond collection', some CIA training video, and… Jean, what's this?"

Jean glanced at the final movie Jose flashed, "Oh, that's the movie about a group of idiotic American's doing ridiculous stunts and pranks. I've been curious about that movie for a while now."

"So you do have a sense of humor."

Jean didn't bother to respond.

Jose, however, was intrigued with the concept of idiotic American's hurting themselves, "Mind if I borrow this?"

"Go ahead."

Instead of taking the entire DVD case, Jose took only the single disc; replacing the case, along with the others on Jean's desk…

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Taking his lunch break at his desk, Jean took the time to screen the CIA training video that his friend sent him. Indeed, it showed everything all CIA field agents underwent, what to expect while working for the CIA, and also various tactical solutions to use when surrounded by hostiles. In Jean's mind, this would be the perfect supplement to Rico's training.

His thoughts were interrupted by the unannounced giggling of a familiar voice, or rather, sets of voices.

Jean spied the approaching group of teary-eyed men, each with a wide grin on their face if it were not already wide open with laughter.

"Oh my god," Jose gasped, "The funniest movie I've ever seen!"

Jean raised an eyebrow, "Oh? Well, just put it back; I'm a little busy here."

"Jean, you should watch this!" Another agent said.

"Like I said before, I'm busy."

"Hey, it's your loss." Jose gasped again, too teary-eyed to find the right DVD case…


	3. Chapter 3

_Note: Joining the "yarn" bandwagon, I am!_

_**The Lighter Side**_

**_A Gunslinger Girl fan fiction by:_**

_**Sintendo**_

Triela, in her best motherly voice, urged Rico to approach Jean, much as she did with Henrietta and Jose.

"You'll never know if you don't ask." She constantly reminded the girl.

With a deep breath, and a sigh, Rico entered the cafeteria, advancing toward her handler and his brother as they ate a modest lunch.

"Excuse me, sir," She interrupted the man, "May I ask you a question?"

Jean replied with an emotionless, "Go ahead."

"I was wondering, sir," Rico hesitated, and then "Well I was wondering if you'd allow me to grow my hair out?"

"Why?"

"Triela says that I'll look cuter in a pair of pig-tails."

Jean remained calm as his mind raced into a flashback. He was reminded of his elementary school days of how much terror and fear he etched into the minds of girls…with pig-tails. He fell into a trance whenever he saw that long, braided bundle of silk; whether it be golden, ebony, or bronze, and how much he wanted to, no, HAD to tug at them; test their strength. Everyday he ran into Elsa was a daily internal struggle…

"Sir?" Rico interrupted his train of thoughts.

Jean cleared his throat before responding with a stern, "No."

"Yes, sir." The equally emotionless Rico responded, leaving the two men to their meals.

"Jean?" Jose asked. He had a slight smile on his lips, "You alright?"

"No."

"You know," Jose leaned back against his chair, "I seem to recall a time in gradeschool that—"

"Quiet, Jose!"


	4. Chapter 4

_**The Lighter Side**_

**_A Gunslinger Girl fan fiction by:_**

_**Sintendo**_

"Hey Jean," Jose said as he and his brother ate lunch together. He was reading the daily paper, when an article caught his attention, "Steve Irwin died."

"The Crocodile Hunter?" Jean responded.

"Yeah. Ironically, he wasn't killed by a Croc, but by a Stingray."

Jean sighed, "Crikey…"

Jose recoiled in surprise, "What?"

Jean tried to play innocent, "Huh?"

"Huh?"

"What?"

"Oook." Jose said, slowly folding the newspaper and placing it on the table.

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	5. Chapter 5

_Note: I think Jean says what's on everyone's mind in this chapter… As per Colonel Marksman's request… enjoy._

_**The Lighter Side**_

**_A Gunslinger Girl fan fiction by:_**

_**Sintendo**_

_**The following takes place between 11:00 pm and 12:00 am**_

After a hard day's work filing papers at the Social Welfare Agency, the handlers decided to relax by spending some time and hard earned money at a local tavern. Jose semi-reluctantly volunteered to be the night's designated driver, using the SWA's minivan as the transportation method of choice.

"Jose," Jean asked, "You sure you want to do this? I'm not really that much of a drinker, so I won't mind staying dry tonight."

"Nah, you earned it, bro," Jose patted his brother on the back, "Go ahead, I'll be fine."

**_Jean's Beer count: 1_**

After gulping half a bottle of rather pricey ale, Jean thanked his little brother for the sacrifice.

"Thanks, Jose," Jean said; Marco and Hilshire toasted in agreement, "I guess we owe you one."

_**Jean's Beer count: 2**_

"Ahh," Jean slid his second empty bottle away and ordered another, "Remember, Jose, I owe you."

_**Jean's Beer count: 3**_

"Hey Jose?" Jean asked.

"Yeah?"

"Why do you spell the shortened version of your name with a 'J'?"

_**Jean's Beer count: 4**_

Showing the early signs of intoxication, Jean had a bit of trouble placing his hands on the shoulders of Marco and Hilshire.

"Am I—" he began, "Am I the only one who finds Ferro to be… sexy?"

**_Jean's Beer count: 8 + 2 shots of vodka_**

"Heh," Jean puffed, "You're shuch a pushy, Jose."

"What? 'Pushy'?"

"Bah! Just like Draghi!"

_**Jean's Beer count: 12 + 2 shots of vodka + 1 shots of tequila**_

By this time, Jean's speech, as well as his thoughts, was beginning to blur.

"Ya know," He told a sober Jose, "If Rico wash… 10, mebbie... 12 yearsh older… Yeah, I'd go fer'it."

The combination of laughter and surprise nearly forced Jose's drink to spill from his mouth.

"Ey!" Jean retorted, "H-Henrietta too…"

**_Jean's Beer count: 18 + 3 shots of vodka + 3 shots of tequila + warning from bartender_**

"JOSE!" Jean cried as Jose dragged his limp body into the van (Marco and Hilshire stopped drinking at beer number 7, and were mildly intoxicated but still able to carry themselves)

"What?" Jose amused himself by keeping a steady conversation with the drunken man.

"WHY DOES THIS JOB **_HURT_** ME SO **_GOOD_**?"


	6. Chapter 6

_Note: Heh, be prepared for an "awwww" moment. It'll be an odd "awwww" moment, but it'll be an "awwww" moment, nonetheless…_

_**The Lighter Side**_

**_A Gunslinger Girl fan fiction by:_**

_**Sintendo**_

Jose nearly did a back-flip as he saw a stranger sitting in Jean's office chair.

"Excuse me," He asked, "Who are you?"

The man sighed, "It's me Jose."

"Jean?"

The man sighed, "Yep."

Jose chuckled, "W-why is your hair black? And your eyes are blue too."

"Rico and I are going deep undercover."

"But you look like **_me!"_**

"Not my fault; it was the Chief's orders and the makeup artist's decision."

"Jesus Christ…" Jose laughed, "It's like looking in a goddamn mirror."

Jean had to slap his brother's hand away as Jose tried to mimic the famous scene from the "Mime" episode of "I Love Lucy".

From across the office, Ferro noticed the identical men.

"Hey Jean," she called out, "I bet you could trick Henrietta that you're Jose."

Jean grunted, "Now why would I do that?"

"Oh, I dunno," Ferro wondered, "Maybe you could find out if she hates you or not?"

"Pfft. Yeah right."

"Actually, she tells me these things," Jose said, "But you'll have to find out for yourself."

"I don't care weather Henrietta hates me or not."

Jose patted his brother's back, "Sure you do," he teased, "Well, good luck on your mission. I have some business to take care of back in the city."

Jose left his brother alone to wallow in his own curiosity…

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"Jose!" Henrietta yelped, "You're back early!"

"Uh… yeah." he said.

"What's wrong?" Henrietta noticed a hint of hesitation in the man's voice, "Do… do you have to go away for business again?"

"No," he said, "I was just…"

"Yes?"

"I was just curious about something."

"About what?"

The man cleared his throat, "Well, I was just wondering… what do you think about m—, er… my brother, Jean?"

Henrietta frowned at the sudden awkward question. Nonetheless, she answered to him faithfully.

"Oh, Jean? He's a nice man. I like the way he works hard, just like we do. He also doesn't like the bad guys, almost as much as we do. I think that he does a great job with handling the agency, especially with all the trouble we've been having recently and he's also an extremely valuable member; double that with Rico. He's a good man, I think, second only to you."

Not expecting such a compliment, the man's throat began to swell with pride and satisfaction. It took him a moment before he had a chance to clear his throat and respond to the girl.

"Thank you, Henrietta," he said, "Now if you'll excuse me, I have some paperwork to finish."

"Ok, Jose." Henrietta said, smiling to herself as he walked away; knowing full well who the man was the entire time…


	7. Chapter 7

_Note: No need to mention any copyrighted names here, eh? If you don't know what Handheld gaming device I am talking about here, just ask._

_**The Lighter Side**_

**_A Gunslinger Girl fan fiction by:_**

_**Sintendo**_

Christmas season. A time of joy, of laughter, getting together and… a time when Jean would scoff at the elaborate and expensive purchases Jose made.

"You think she'll like this?" Jose asked his brother, holding a box in his face.

Jean didn't even have to ask for whom the present was for. Nevertheless, he examined the product, "A handheld gaming machine?"

"I've been thinking about getting her one of these. Studies show that hand-eye coordination increases by 50 percent after a month or so of playing one."

"Right," Jean groaned, "I think it's a waste of money."

"Whatever. You know you want one."

"Like hell I do!" Jean retorted, "Waste of time and money."

"Ha. Maybe I should buy one for Rico as well."

_**One month after Christmas**_

After a brief knock, Jean opened the door to his cyborg's room. Inside Rico busied herself by cleaning her handgun.

"Rico," Jean said, "I need you at the range, right now."

"Yes sir." Rico quickly assembled her pistol and exited her room.

As he was about to shut the door, a shiny black object located on the center table caught his attention. Upon further inspection, he found that it was the same game that Jose bought for Henrietta. Still curious, he opened the lid, perplexed at the device's 2 LCD screens. Proceeding further, he read on one of the screens, "Rico" written in very exquisite calligraphy.

"Jose, you idiot." Jean grunted, pocketing the handheld and charging out the door.

_**Later that night**_

After having Rico run a round of practice drills, Jean began packing his belongings getting ready to go home when he was approached by his brother and Henrietta. Oddly enough, the girl was in tears.

"Jean, have you seen Henrietta's game?"

"I've been meaning to speak to you about that." He retrieved the game from his pocket, "How dare you buy one of these for my cyborg! You have no right to do so!"

"What? I never bought Rico a game!"

"Oh? Then why does it have her name inside?" Jean showed him the evidence.

"I-I can explain, sir." Henrietta sobbed, "You see, instead of wasting paper to practice my penmanship, I used this to write on the touch-screen. My name couldn't fit the screen, so I wrote Rico's name instead."

Jose pitied his red-faced brother, "Jean, how could you?"


	8. Chapter 8

_Note: Hmm… might as well join the "new fratello" bandwagon… lol. Also, I'm taking a friendly jab at Colonel Marksman's new format in storytelling._

_**The Lighter Side**_

**_A Gunslinger Girl fan fiction by:_**

_**Sintendo**_

The early workday passed smoothly. No missions concerning the fratello teams were assigned, so all the handlers were catching up on unfinished business. Nobody seemed to have any problems with their paperwork, and nothing was delayed; the calmest day in Social Welfare Agency history.

Something was amiss. Alessandro was not going to allow this.

As soon as he informed his desk-side neighbors, Jose, Hillshire, and Bernardo, about the situation, they too immediately recognized the eerie, yet productive silence.

"There's something not right here." Alessandro told the men as they sat together during lunch break. His eyes shifted to and fro, observing his coworkers as they returned from their own lunch breaks. Suddenly, his eyes landed on Jean. Instantly he noticed the man's unnatural relaxed posture, the slight growth of stubble on his chin, his sunglasses still on his face…

"Were you guys out drinking again?" Alessandro asked Jose.

"I wasn't," Jose said, "And I'm sure as hell my brother wasn't as well."

"Hmmm…" Alessandro ignored the older brother for the moment as another person caught his eye; that of the female variety.

Ferro entered the office. Her usually firm attitude was reduced to a strained one. The clicking of her high-heels was not present as she passed the men, and she also lacked the ruby lips she commonly displayed.

"Odd…" Alessandro added to their observations, "She wore that dress-suit yesterday..."

* * *

With curiosity consuming the men, they decided that a little recon was in order.

Bernardo volunteered to use his cyborg as a sort of radar to gather information.

"Okay, Beatrice," he told the girl, "You smell any alcohol on Jean's or Ferro's breaths?"

The girl closed her eyes as she smelled the air, concentrating on the flavors of her surroundings.

After taking her time sniffing in Jean's direction, she turned toward Ferro's desk.

It took a few minutes for her to analyze the incoming information, but it was clear what occurred the night before; the crimson patches on the little girl's cheeks were proof enough.

"_They're both wearing the same cologne…"_


	9. Chapter 9

_Note: Heh… this is just getting weird._

_**The Lighter Side**_

**_A Gunslinger Girl fan fiction by:_**

_**Sintendo**_

He couldn't help it anymore.

The way the object of his desire taunted him, teased him, and begged him to touch it…

Like the sirens of old; every time he passed, every time he heard the mysterious sounds of it, he felt that he needed it in his hands.

To play with it.

To fondle it.

To caress and exploit it.

He was going to burst. His trek to find a source of relief took hours, but finally, _it_ was within his grasp.

"Excuse me," Jean asked the clerk behind the counter, "How much for one of those Nintendo things?"


	10. Chapter 10

_Note: Weird chapter again. This is kinda turning into a sitcom like Scrubs or The Office… Ah well…_

_**The Lighter Side**_

**_A Gunslinger Girl fan fiction by:_**

_**Sintendo**_

Ever had one of those days when you knew that everyone around you felt as shitty as you did?

Like female roommates adjusting to a uniform menstrual cycle; every one of the handler's could tell that today was one of those days. The mandatory field training was not helping one bit, either.

Sour attitudes were visible from every handler's face and countless near-confrontations filled the day for everyone; cyborgs included, due to their automatic reaction towards threats against their handler. Simply put: everyone was having a bad day.

Everyone except for Jean, that is.

Like before, Jean's upbeat attitude was noted by the ever-observant Alessandro. It was only during a pause at the outdoor range practice that he approached a handful of his peers, jealously passing on his observations about Jean's and Rico's record breaking practice rounds.

Soon, whispered rumors began spreading, followed by an evil plot.

"Think he went out with Ferro again?"

"Nah, I don't think so. He's not the same as before."

"But look at him! All high and mighty… smiling even!"

"Something's up with him."

"Yeah. Why is it that only we have a shitty day today?"

"He needs to join us…"

"I move that we find out what's going on, and exploit it."

"Blackmail? You can't be serious."

"Oh, I'm dead serious… Beatrice! Come here a moment."

"Bernardo, no!"

"Not now!"

"Calm down, this'll only take a second."

The man once again turned to his cyborg, Beatrice, for recon.

"Ok, Beatrice," Bernardo said, kneeling before his charge as soon as she came over to him, "I want you to find out what Jean's been up to by taking a good whiff of him…"

Beatrice nodded, took a quick sniff the air above Bernardo, and said, "Smells like the same cologne as before."

"Aha!" Bernardo pounded his fist, "See guys! He— wait a minute…"

To his surprise, his "friends" were nowhere near him but instead back to their original positions at their firing stations and reloading their weapons. It was a few moments before he realized that a cease-fire was called during the discussion of his plans; everyone's ear protection was unequipped at the time.

"So," Jean said as he towered above the sweat faced man, "Blackmail, huh?"


	11. Chapter 11

_Note: Getting' tired of the Nintendo stuff…? Last one for a while. I SWEAR._

_**The Lighter Side**_

**_A Gunslinger Girl fan fiction by:_**

_**Sintendo**_

Showing that he was not out of shape and fully aware of his surroundings, Jose dodged an object that flew toward him, drawing his sidearm and aiming toward the direction from whence it came.

Instead of the sight of a madman, Jose saw his brother holding his own head, as if he were frustrated. Indeed, the man was pulling his own hair so, acting as the caring brother, Jose approached him.

"Wow, what was that?" Jose asked, "What's wrong, Jean?"

"What's wrong?" Jean managed to wheeze out, "What's WRONG?"

Jean shoved a tiny contraption into Jose's sight.

"THIS is what's wrong!"

Jose sighed, studying the device before him.

He read aloud, "H'n'J4Eva – 15, Il Comandante – 2."

Jose laughed, "Is this a game? Did you buy a game? Oh god, you DID buy a game! Is this a racing game? With Go-Karts? Are you 'Il Comandante'?"

"Who the HELL is this 'H'n'J4Eva'?" Jean ignored his brother's questions, "If I find that fat son-of-a-bitch, I'm gonna wrap my hands around his fat neck and squeeze all the oil from his pimply, zit-filled face!"

Jose laughed; the identity of this "H'n'J4Eva" would remain his (and a certain young girl's) secret…


	12. Chapter 12

_**The Lighter Side**_

**_A Gunslinger Girl fan fiction by:_**

_**Sintendo**_

"It's vile," he told Jose, "Sitting through the entire program was an eternity in hell. It's worthless in my eyes and a waste of 2 hours. Every copy of this filth should be burned."

Minutes later, however, Jose couldn't help but laugh out loud when he saw the box for "Jackass: the Movie" at the very bottom of Jean's file cabinet...


	13. Chapter 13

_Note: Dedicated to Colonel Marksman cuz the bastard knew it was coming, lol._

_**The Lighter Side**_

**_A Gunslinger Girl fan fiction by:_**

_**Sintendo**_

Jean examined his surrounding through dark sunglasses as Rico sat across from him, thoroughly enjoying the rare company of an ice cream sundae (or gelato for you purisits). Whether it was used as cover, or whether Jean did in fact reward her for whatever reason, she didn't care; she loved how the creamy texture enveloped her palate. Saying she was in heaven would be an understatement, but she was also still fully aware of her mission at hand.

Jean constantly interrupted her blissful state of mind by asking, "Do you see the target?"

She would repeat, "Not yet sir," and then continue savoring the frozen treat.

Their mission, however, was interrupted when a woman about Jean's age approached them.

"Jean?" She gasped, "Jean Croce? Oh my god! I haven't seen you since college graduation! Oh my god, how are you?"

"M-Melissa!" He stammered, "What a surprise!" He knew in the back of his mind that he couldn't just shoo the woman away; that would seem too suspicious. Then again, he couldn't leave the area; his target was to pass by in any minute.

"Oh my god!" The woman gasped, "I didn't know you had a daughter! Oh my, she's so precious! She's the spitting image of you and— who's the lucky lady, Jean?"

"Ah," he thought quickly, "Sadly, s-she passed away a month or two ago. I am a widower."

"Oh, how sad," She pinched Rico's cheeks, "You poor thing; losing your mother at such a young age…"

As if on cue, Jose and Henrietta came by, screeching to a halt when they saw Jean's guest.

"Oh my god! Guiseppe!" Melissa gasped, "It's been so long! Oh, and you have a little girl of your own as well!"

"Oh, Melissa," Jose groaned, then faked a smile, "Hello!"

"You must tell me, Guiseppe, who is the lucky lady?"

Jose winced, "Actually, I'm a widower. My wife passed a month or two ago."

Jean cupped his head in pain, knowing that it would be a long while before they were free of this sticky situation…


	14. Chapter 14

_Note: Finally a chapter not centering on Jean, lol. Inspired by how stuffed animals seem to change their facial expression after a few minutes of staring at them, heh...  
_

_**The Lighter Side**_

**_A Gunslinger Girl fan fiction by:_**

_**Sintendo**_

After a recent sugar bender (courtesy of the local neighborhood Hilshire), Triela nervously sat at the edge of her bed.

With the rapid tapping of Triela's toes covered in leather boots finally driving her to the brink of insanity, Claes shuffled away from her prone position atop her bed. Allowing her torso to hang upside-down, she stared into the blonde girl's eyes, piercing into them as if to transmit her feeling of annoyance into Triela's mind.

"Triela, do you mind?" Claes growled, "I'm trying to read."

"Can't," Triela snapped back, "They're watching us."

"Who?"

Triela pointed to the other side of the room, "The bears."

"What?"

"Look at 'em. That one's smiling at me, taunting me, daring me to do something. The one next to it has a sad face; probably wants me to hug it so it can stab me in the back. The one next to that is laughing at me…"


	15. Chapter 15

_Note: JESUS CHRIST! DON'T READ THIS SHIT! YOU **WILL **BE OFFENDED!!!!_

…

…

…

_SERIOUSLY!!! YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!!! _

_Anyways, part three of the "Jackass" story arc... (refer to Chapters 1 and 2)  
_

_**The Lighter Side**_

**_A Gunslinger Girl fan fiction by:_**

_**Sintendo**_

There is always a first time for everything; everyone in the entire Social Welfare Agency knew this to be true. The death of a fratello team, the creation of a new cyborg, even the sight of children firing high-powered weapons accurately and manhandling a full grown adult; everyone was shocked to see these things for the first time.

This event, however, was expected by absolutely nobody…

The day that Jean Croce was scolded by Chief Lorenzo will forever be burned into the memories of his peers.

Lorenzo massaged his sinuses to relieve excess pressure, "Ok… can you tell my why Rico has 3 broken limbs, numerous cuts throughout her body, a skull fracture, burns around her… posterior… caused by bottle rockets, several broken ribs, a collapsed right lung, missing teeth, was wearing nothing but her underwear, and—"

He hesitated to finish. Staring at the man who returned from the U.S.A. earlier this morning, he shook his head in shame, holding a doctor's repot in his hand, and a half-empty bottle of cheap whiskey in the other. He took a drink before continuing.

"…And… and a toy car… wrapped in a condom… lodged halfway into her colon?"

Jean's mind went blank; He tried to cover his mouth, but the words had already escaped.

"How'd she do that?"


	16. Chapter 16

_Note: Something that was inspired over Thanksgiving dinner._

_**The Lighter Side**_

**_A Gunslinger Girl fan fiction by:_**

_**Sintendo**_

_How did it end up like this? It may be impossible to fathom, but how can I deny something that is before my very own eyes?_

_The relationship that I had with my "sisters" has been shattered over something as trivial as… the complete control of the globe…_

_Initially, after the 6 of us conquered every world power with our sympathizing armies, peace was spread throughout the world. Harmony initiated, and complese nirvana was within our grasp._

_That is… until, out of nowhere, Angelica gathered her army in her portion of North America and attacked the lightly defended Alaskan territory that belonged to Henrietta. Chaos ensued, and, with her friend in danger, Rico retaliated by using her armies to forcing Angelica to the south and eventually surrender her army and government. _

_In the interest of the World's welfare, Henrietta pleaded with Rico to divide the captured territories between herself, Triela, Pertroushka, and I. She felt that it was too risky for Rico to have so much power. Rico refused, prompting us to build our forces to defend our now divided lands. None of us were surprised when Henrietta's territories fell one-by-one at the hands of Rico; what amazed us was the rate at which Rico's battles were won. With our backs against the walls, we felt that it was time for us to act._

_Pertroushka was the first to attack. However, she too was quickly mowed down by "Rico's Red Army"._

_Triela was next in line; she was able to keep Rico at bay, even forcing her to give up a handful of territories._

_What I did, however, was something that was unexpected by many…some may consider it dastardly._

_With all of Triela's efforts concentrated toward the destruction of Rico, I took my army to Triela's unguarded lands, swiftly running through them and claiming them as my own._

_With Rico controlling the northern hemisphere, __Triela cowering in Australia__ , and __the majority of the southern hemisphere to call my own__ , the future of the world rested within the palms of our—_

"Claes!" Triela yelled out.

Claes snapped out of her trance, "Eh?"

"This game takes long enough without _you _having to narrate before each of your turns! Hurry up and choose someone to attack!"

"Bah," Claes spat, "Fine, I'll attack your last territory, Triela. My armies in Western Australia will attack your last army in Eastern Australia."

Claes threw a trio of dies onto the table while Triela rolled but a single die.

Angered by the results, Triela flicked the last of her gold soldiers from the playing field.

She snorted, "I hate 'Risk'"


	17. Chapter 17

_**The Lighter Side**_

**_A Gunslinger Girl fan fiction by:_**

_**Sintendo**_

Jean sat at the bedside of his heavily injured partner. He cringed every time Rico strained to move, knowing full well that each and every cut, scrape, bruise, burn, or broken bone in her body was caused by his own stupidity; even if he thought of her as a simple machine, nothing, not a single living being should have to go through what Rico is going through now.

"J-Jean…" She coughed.

Jean immediatley shushed her by unintentionally using a soft, almost brotherly, voice, "Save your energy. You need rest."

Rico, however, continued, "Jean…"

"Hmm?"

"…Americans… have… the oddest…t-training methods…"

* * *

_Note: Fourth, and probably final, chapter of the Jackass Story arc… probably… XD_


	18. Chapter 18

_Note: I'll uh… I'll let you guys figure this one out yourselves… Please direct comments toward my girlfriend, Rina, for this idea…_

_**The Lighter Side**_

**_A Gunslinger Girl fan fiction by:_**

_**Sintendo**_

"Ok, Triela, you ready?"

"Yep. So All I have to do is put this in?"

"Yeah… ok, it's in. Now be careful; this is a delicate object."

"Oh please. Anyways, what now?"

"Ok, grab that, and shift it forward. Then put your foot here and…"

"L-like this?"

"Y-yeah! Ok, now slowly… you're going to fast."

"C-calm down, it's not like anyone notices. Besides, your shouting is making me nervous."

"I could get in big trouble for this, you know?"

"I-I know… thanks for letting me do this, Hillshire…. Anyways, Is this fast enough?"

"P-perfect! Great job, Triela, now go a little bit faster."

"Ok."

"Good. Now slow down a bit… ok… now turn around."

"Aww."

"Trust me. Ok, you see this curve there?"

"What? You want me to—"

"Right… Gah! Slow down!"

"Why? Hahaha, this is fun!"

"No! Triela, slow down! You're going to—"

…

…

"Hillshire? Hillshire, are you asleep?"

* * *

Triela entered her room, preparing to retire for the night. Upon her usual perch, Claes noted that her blonde roommate carried an aura of giddiness; she decided to prod her for a reason why.

"Hello, Triela," Claes said, "So why is it that I detect a bit of a bounce to your steps?"

Triela froze in place, trying to force the smile on her face away, "Oh, nothing."

"Right. That must have been a good 'nothing'."

"I'm telling you it's nothing!" Triela's face matched that of a tomato's skin.

"Sure." Claes teased, "I'll just ask Hillshire—"

"Alright!" Triela puffed, "Hillshire taught me how to drive, ok? We were in a bit of an accident, but it was the most fun I've ever had!"


	19. Chapter 19

_**The Lighter Side**_

**_A Gunslinger Girl fan fiction by:_**

_**Sintendo**_

…_Santa Claus is coming to town…_

The sparkle in the little girl's eyes hinted at the thoughts that filled her mind; Jean knew what was coming. Were they elsewhere, he would have merely avoided the inevitable, but he was cursed to stay in mid-afternoon rush hour.

"Jean?" Rico asked, "Who's Santa Claus?"

Jean sighed, "He's a man who brings presents to all the good little boys and girls."

"Why does he do that?"

"Because he's a Saint."

"Oh," She still wasn't satisfied, "How does he deliver the presents?"

"When everyone is asleep, he climbs down the chimneys of their houses and leaves the presents under their Christmas trees."

Rico thought for a moment, and then said, "Does that mean he's coming to the Agency? I know Triela and Claes decorated a tree in the cafeteria earlier this week; the cafeteria has a chimney…"

"Maybe," Jean amused the girl, "It all depends if you've been good or not."

After some silence, Rico said, "Should I prepare for a security breech?"

Jean recoiled in surprise, "What?"

"Well, if Santa Claus is coming into the Agency while everyone's asleep, doesn't that make him an intruder? You always told me to keep on the look-out for intruders, and now that I have a warning, I can prepare in advance for his arrival."

"Well…" Jean's thought's floated to a conversation he had with his brother only hours before hand.

* * *

"_You're going to what?" Jean exclaimed._

"_I'm going to dress up as Santa and drop off some presents," Jose said proudly, "Then on Christmas morning, I'll show the security tapes to the girls; you know, for fun."_

"_Right… 'fun'."_

* * *

"Fun indeed…" Jean whispered.

"Eh?"

"Set up an ambush from the kitchen. I want Santa alive, so do _not_ use lethal force…"

* * *

_Note: Merry Whatever-you-celebrate y'all!_


	20. Chapter 20

_Note: Excuse the delay._

_**The Lighter Side**_

**_A Gunslinger Girl fan fiction by:_**

_**Sintendo**_

Seeing as how the rest of his family were celebrating the Christmas holiday back in Deutschland, Hillshire resolved to spend this Christmas with his brothers and sisters of the Italian sort. Within the empty confines of the Social Welfare Agency (empty save for a few volunteers who were probably Jewish or Muslim), he trotted toward the cafeteria, fully expecting to see the cyborgs ogle and lay their bright eyes upon the piles of gifts that each handler – as well as a handful of the cyborgs' sympathizers/friends – presented to each girl.

Needless to say, the sight that was painted before him placed a heavy weight upon his jaw.

"What the hell?"

With tables and chairs strewn about the room, blood literally dripping from the ceiling, and a gaggle of young girls watching a pair of gasping men in the middle of the bloody scene – adding to the list the fact that one of them was clad in a (now all red) Santa Claus style outfit; a joyful occasion, Hillshire deduced, this was not. The German also noticed that Rico was dressed entirely in black; an extendable baton was cradled in her arms.

A question needed to be asked.

"What's going on here? Jean? Jose? What have you two been doing?"

Jose spat a couple of loose teeth onto the floor before answering between gasps, "Jean… had Rico… stake out last night…"

Hillshire shook his head in befuddlement, looking to the elder brother for an answer. It was the first time Hillshire visibly shuddered; before answering, Jean smiled a bloody, toothy grin.

"Ah, he's just mad that Rico beat him up a little," He laughed, surprisingly lacking the lack of breath his brother suffered from, "We just had a little quarrel to let him vent some steam."

"'A little'?," Jose choked, "It's not... her fault, but she... damn near... KILLED me!"

"So wait," Hillshire interrupted before the situation became worse, "Why are you dressed up as Santa?"

Jose shook his head, "I just... wanted to surprise... the girls; you know… have them believe... in Santa..."

Jean added his two cents with another bloody smile, "Just to let you know, I told Rico to use non-lethal force."

"Whatever. You're such a bastard, Jean, you know that?" Hillshire waved them away; his eyes set upon his own charge and what she carried in her arms, "What's that thing Triela's carrying?"

"Oh that?" Jean said, "Ask Jose about it."

"Well?"

Jose hesitated, caught his breath, then answered, "It's a joke gift; A Summer sausage."

Hillshire became speechless when he read the words, "Hillshire Farms" on the sausage label; the blonde girl holding it in her arms had a mischievous grin on her face.

Finally the German said, "You're such a bastard, Jose, you know that?" Adding with a sigh, "Damn Croce brothers..."


	21. Chapter 21

_**The Lighter Side**_

**_A Gunslinger Girl fan fiction by:_**

_**Sintendo**_

During a brisk winter morning, Marco happily (more accurately, almost nearly) skipped his way toward the SWA hospital, occupying himself with one of his many visits to his partner's bedside. Today was different, however – today was the day after he received great news.

"_We've stabilized her condition," The doctors told him, "This doesn't mean she's off the medication; just that the chances of her memory relapsing will be greatly reduced._

"Today," He whispered to himself; a bouquet of roses in one hand, and a certificate of animal ownership in the other, "To day is a good day."

He showered her with gifts thereafter. Whatever she wanted, it was hers. Chocolate, reading material, her prized AUG, even one of those new-fangled game devices that he saw Henrietta – as well as Rico, Jose, and Jean (though his was a bit damaged) – running around with. In Marco's eyes, the world was practically Angelica's.

His heart raced as the elevator lifted him to his destination, he turned red with anxiety, and his palms were sweating, coating the stems of the flowers with moisture. Nevertheless, he entered the angel's room, a bright smile on his face.

He boasted, "Good morning, Angelica!"

Marco's smile, however, slowly faded after hearing the girl's response.

"'Sup?"

"E-excuse me?" He questioned.

"Oh! Did I say it wrong?" She struggled to search her memory, finally giggling when she came with another answer, "Oh, um… What up, Marco?" She frowned again when Marco showed a blank face, "Um… Wha's crackin'?"

"Jesus," He held his head (with a smile), "I knew Satellite TV was a bad idea…"


	22. Chapter 22

_**The Lighter Side**_

**_A Gunslinger Girl fan fiction by:_**

_**Sintendo**_

Something was amiss within the confines of the former Roman Monastery. Indeed, everyone who was currently on the campus instantly felt the odd feeling of something misplaced; it wasn't as obvious as, say, a new building, but it wasn't as subtle either. It took quite a while for somebody to speak out about the… "Thing that did not belong", but once Jean spoke out, the object in question revealed itself under a beacon of light for all the wise men and women to behold.

"Guiseppe?"

It was a well known fact that Jose never referred to his little brother by his real name unless something was wrong. Terribly wrong.

"Yeah?"

"Well, um…" Jean pointed to the literal black mop on his brother's head, "When… When was the last time you got yourself a haircut?"

"I'm just trying out a new style, why?"

"Oh nothing. Just wondering is all." Then, under his breath, _"Jeez, you look gay..."_


	23. Chapter 23

_**The Lighter Side**_

**_A Gunslinger Girl fan fiction by:_**

_**Sintendo**_

Something was amiss within the confines of the former Roman Monastery. Indeed, everyone who was currently on the campus instantly felt the odd feeling of something misplaced; it wasn't as obvious as, say, a new building, but it wasn't as subtle either. It took quite a while for somebody to speak out about the… "Thing that did not belong", but once Jean spoke out, the object in question revealed itself under a beacon of light for all the wise men and women to behold.

"Guiseppe?"

It was the second day that Jean referred to his brother by his full name. Anyone within an earshot was, by now, behind some sort of cover.

Jose grumbled, "Yeah?"

"Di- um…" Jose pointed at the peppered head of his baby brother. But before he could finish his question, he was interrupted.

"I HEARD YOU YESTERDAY, DAMMIT!"

With that, the bald man marched out of the office.

"Jesus Christ," A passing agent asked a shaken and disoriented Jean, "What's with him?"

Jean replied with a smile, "PMS."


	24. Chapter 24

_Note: lol, Fanfiction._

_**The Lighter Side**_

**_A Gunslinger Girl fan fiction by:_**

_**Sintendo**_

Patrol.

A word that the agents of Section 2 seldom heard because, quite frankly, they always had something to do.

With Italy in such a hotbed of terrorist and dangerous smuggling activities, it was rare for the offices of the Social Welfare Agency to have absolutely nothing to do. And, being agents of the government, it was unacceptable for anyone to be idling about. Most often, during slow times like these, one would take up target practice at the rage, though this particular day, BOTH ranges were filled to the brim with bored men and women, searching for something to do.

The handlers, on the other hand, went out into Rome to look for trouble. What else can the deadliest people in all of the S.W.A. do?

Jose, in particular, decided to take Henrietta out to the local shopping district. It had been a while since they were able to spend time like this and it had also been a while since he showered her with gifts.

While browsing the girls clothing aisle, Henrietta noticed a young woman pushing some sort of a cart that was foreign to her. Investigating a bit closer, she found, to her surprise, a small bundle that cooed a little when she approached.

"Oh!" Henrietta gasped, "Isn't that just the cutest-!"

The woman pushing the cart smiled warmly, "Thank you, young lady. She's only a few weeks old."

"Oh!" Henrietta gasped again, repeating her reaction for the approaching Jose.

"Heh," Jose nodded toward the woman, and then to Henrietta (perhaps he knew what was to come next?), "Come on, Henrietta, we have to go."

"Jose?" Henrietta asked as she waved the woman and child goodbye, "Can I have a baby?"


	25. Chapter 25

_**The Lighter Side**_

_**A **__**Gunslinger Girl**__** fan fiction by:**_

_**Sintendo**_

_The following is a written transcript between Dr. Bianchi (ID # 09893-647) and Cyborg # 2116-70 (a.k.a. "Claes"). This transcript has been altered in order to identify the speaker and define emotions. _

_13/08/20XX – 0847: Begin recording._

Dr. Bianchi: So how are we this Monday morning, Claes?

Claes: So-so, I suppose. I'm planning on doing a few things today, so I'm a little anxious.

D.B.: Is that so?

C: Yes. Honestly, I don't feel like being here today, so I apologize if I seem a little out of it.

D.B.: Hmm, well I'd like to try something different today, if I may.

C: You're the doc. Go right on ahead.

D.B.: Excellent. Today we're going to try some "Word Association". Do you know what word association is?

C: I've seen it done a few times before, yes.

D.B.: Well then, let's begin. I'll say a word, and you respond with the first word, sentence, or phrase that pops into your head.

C: Ok.

D.B.: Weapon

C: _Does not answer for 3 minutes and 20 seconds_

D.B.: Uh, Claes, you were supposed to answer.

C: Answer what? You didn't ask anything.

D.B.: Well, we're doing word association right now. I said "Weapon" and you were supposed to say the first thing that came into you mind.

C: Nothing came into my mind, that's why I didn't say anything. I'll try again if you'd like.

D.B.: _sighs_

C: You're tired.

D.B.: What?

C: Confusion.

D.B.: No.

C: Yes.

D.B.: Claes!

C: Self.

D.B.: Claes, stop!

C: Attack.

D.B.: Enough!

C: Checkmate.

D.B.: This test is over!

C: Victory.

_13/08/20XX – 0857: End recording._


	26. Chapter 26

_**The Lighter Side**_

_**A **__**Gunslinger Girl**__** fan fiction by:**_

_**Sintendo**_

While enjoying an afternoon cigarette, a handful of weary men gathered in the campus courtyard to escape the thick air that filled their offices. A pair of them, the brothers Croce, strayed from the pack, conversing between themselves about various things, the topic mainly being about their work.

"You know," Jose said, keeping his cigarette from view of any wandering eyes (He declared to have quit smoking a while ago), I've always wondered: The SWA has all this technology, equipment, personnel… How the hell does the Agency get all this money?"

His older brother blew a puff of smoke into the air, "You really don't know?"

"No. Why? Do you?"

"Of course I do."

Jose laughed, "Well then, bro, why don't you let me in on the secret?"

"Women's apparel," Jean replied with a straight face, "Men's too. Foreigners eat that shit up, you know."

It took a moment for that fact to sink into Jose's mind, but when he lost his train of thought (probably due to the relatively strong smokes Jean gave him) he asked, "What the hell do you mean by that?"

"Well think about it: If you slap a European-esque brand onto an article of clothing, it's automatically top-of-the-line, even though it's valued so much, it costs so little to manufacture. Simple economics, little brother."

"You're joking, right?"

"Not at all. Armani, Gucci, Prada, Tacchini… Who do you think owns those companies?"


	27. Chapter 27

_**The Lighter Side**_

_**A **__**Gunslinger Girl**__** fan fiction by:**_

_**Sintendo**_

"Um, Hillshire?" Tirela meekly asked.

"What is it?"

"I've been thinking," She twiddled her thumbs, "My cell phone is a few years old now, and…"

"You want a new one?" Hillshire finished for her.

"Yeah! I was thinking we should get-"

"No, too expensive."

"What? I didn't even-"

"No, they're too expensive!"

"Awww why not?"

"_Goddam Apple…_"


	28. Chapter 28

_**The Lighter Side**_

_**A **__**Gunslinger Girl**__** fan fiction by:**_

_**Sintendo**_

It had already been a few months since satellite TVs were installed in each of the cyborg's dorms, and already numerous accounts of odd behaviors coming from said cyborgs were being reported. Determined to not let his own charge continue toward the downward spiral via brain-rot, Hillshire ordered Triela to his office for some questioning.

"Triela!" He said the second the door shut behind the girl.

"What's up?" She asked innocently.

"This cell phone bill is 'what's up'! All this texting!"

"Jeez, calm down!"

Hillshire puffed, "How dare you?! Who have you been texting to anyways?"

"I don't know, my BFF Claes?"

As Triela smiled, Hillshire scowled, "You're what?"

"My BFF, Claes."

Taken aback, Hillshire wiped his forehead as if to clear his thoughts, "Wait, you've been sending text messages Claes?"

"So?"

"She's your roommate! You can just talk to her."

"Oh, right." Triela laughed, "Oops."

"'Oops'?! Is that all you can say? 'Oops'?"

* * *

To avoid further temper tantrums, and to aid in Hillshire's rehabilitation for ruptured veins and a stomach ulcer, Section Two Chief Lorenzo ordered all televisions to be removed from all dormitories and for all cellphones to be set on a controlled limit. 

"What the hell is a 'BFF'?"


	29. Chapter 29

_Note: Excuse the delay. I just wanted to keep the "777" update date rolling for a while, lol._

_**The Lighter Side**_

_**A**__**Gunslinger Girl**__** fan fiction by:**_

_**Sintendo**_

Being the most mature, tamed, and responsible out of all the rest, Claes was the only cyborg allowed to continue to use any and all electronic means of communication; meaning she was the only one who still had a restriction-less cell phone, music player, and computer. Of course, when put into account that she was rooming with one of the most reckless girls in the whole of the SWA (when it came to electronics), the two were bound to collide.

"Come on." Triela begged.

"No."

"Please?"

"No."

"Come oooooon… Myspace!"

"Triela, I can't!"

"Come on, lemmie get on MySpace for a few seconds."

"Hillshire will get mad at me."

"MySpace! Please! I need it!"

"Triela! You're hurting me!"

"GIMMIE!"

"We're not allowed to communicate with the outside world! Why in the world did you make a 'Myspace' account?"

The blonde froze for a moment in a rather bizarre pose. After a second of rest, she smiled sheepishly.

"It's not like that…" she began.

"It's not like… what?" Claes asked.

"I… I swear, Claes, I never put up any pictures! I even lied about my age! Nobody will recognize it's me!"

* * *

Meanwhile, at the office, business was being processed as usual. The musky odor in the air was a common anomaly as well as an occurrence considering the late summer heat. It was ignored, though, as men and women pushed papers to and fro in a frantic attempt to finish as much work as possible before returning the next day to continue the cycle that protects their country. 

Jean, however, lounged around his desk, lazily clicking away at his mouse and gazing into his computer screen.

"Jean?" Jose called from behind, "What are you doing?"

"Checking this… 'Myspace' thing."

"Oh?" Curious, the little brother took a closer look and read a few words, "'DangerousKurves' ... Who's that? She sounds like a total hottie!"

"Ha! Well, bro, She and I have been communicating recently. Apparently she lives right here in Rome! Blonde… bronzed skin… she also says she's an excellent marksman. I tell ya, bro, she sounds TOO good to be true! I want to meet her someday…"


	30. Chapter 30

_Note: lol ,chapter 30. ENJOY!_

_**The Lighter Side**_

_**A**__**Gunslinger Girl**__** fan fiction by:**_

_**Sintendo**_

"Fan fiction?" The plump girl with glasses asked, "Isn't that for nerds?"

"No, it's NOT for nerds," replied the devilish blonde, "The majority of people who write here are artists!"

"Don't you mean 'authors'?"

"No you blithering dolt!" The Golden Haired Goddess tossed her perfect streams of bright sun infused tresses behind her, "ARTISTS. We produce something greater that any mere author can come up with!"

"Right, and I'm a beauty queen."

The true beauty responded with a laugh, "Well you aren't, dear, that's why!"

"Shut up! Go to hell and die!"

"You first! Ugly wench!"

"Two pence WHORE!"

"DROOLING WALRUS!"

"NO GOOD SKANK!"

It was at this time that the girls were interrupted by an atomic bomb that was dropped by remnants of the Luftwaffe in order to resurrect the 3rd Reich into the new world!

"ZOMG!!"

BAD END

* * *

"And that's how the story ends!" Angelica smiled.

Claes massaged her forehead, "Angie," she started, "You are not using my computer to post... this onto that fan fiction website."

"You… you don't like it?"

Claes was about to respond, but was instead interrupted by a familiar voice, or rather set of voices, from outside the room.

"DID I HEAR SOMEONE SAY 'COMPUTER'!?"

"NO COMPUTER, TRIELA! YOU'RE IN ENOUGH TROUBLE ALREADY!"

"NOT AS MUCH TROUBLE AS JEAN IS IN!"

"HEY! I DIDN'T KNOW IT WAS YOU! NOW WHERE DID THEY MOVE RICO?"

"I'M OVER HERE JEAN! I'M FEELING BETTER NOW BUT THE DOCTOR SAID I SHOULDN'T LIE ON MY BACKSIDE TOO MUCH!"

"DAMMIT… JOSE! I'LL BE A WHILE, YOU AND HENRIETTA GO ON WITHOUT ME!"

"JOSE, CAN WE VISIT THE MATERNITY WARD?!"

"THERE IS NO MATERNITY WARD!"

"COMPUTER!"

"TRIELA, NO!"

Claes sighed, "This is why we aren't allowed to have nice things…"


	31. Chapter 31

_**The Lighter Side**_

_**A**__**Gunslinger Girl**__** fan fiction by:**_

_**Sintendo**_

"Hey Guiseppe. It's Christmas time again."

"So? What about it?"

"…So… aren't you going to dress up as Santa Claus again?"


	32. Chapter 32

_**The Lighter Side**_

_**A**__**Gunslinger Girl**__** fan fiction by:**_

_**Sintendo**_

"12 broken finger bones, 11 broken feet bones, 10 minor gashes, 9 lethal blood clots, 8 major bruises, 7 organs damaged, 6 times you've fainted, 5…-"

"WHAT HAPPENED?! WHO DID THIS TO ME?!"


	33. Chapter 33

_**The Lighter Side**_

_**A**__**Gunslinger Girl**__** fan fiction by:**_

_**Sintendo**_

Henrietta tugged at Giuseppe's rather festive red and white clothing.

"Jose?" she asked, "Did you really do all of those things to Jean?"

Giuseppe coughed, "Well, Henrietta, when a man becomes angry… sometimes he can't hold back any of his feelings. You understand?"

"I… I completely understand." Henrietta blushed.

Little did the pair know that they were being watched...


	34. Chapter 34

_**The Lighter Side**_

_**A **__**Gunslinger Girl**__** fan fiction by:**_

_**Sintendo**_

A normal day consists of people going about their daily routines. A normal day is when nothing of importance occurs. A normal day is as dull and listless as any other day.

This was not a normal day for one man…

* * *

"A slice is not about force," Claes lectured to bored students of her cooking class, "A slice is more of an elliptical motion, like the gears on a locomotive. A slice is a combination of two movements: forward and down, not one."

"But what about when you slice a man's throat open?" A random voice called out.

"That's called 'Slitting'. Completely different from slicing."

"But what about when you slice their hand off when interrogating them?" Another asked.

"That's 'Chopping'! You don't slice hands off, you chop!"

"But what about when you slice into their skulls?"

"Can I...," Claes sighed, "Can I get back to my lecture?"

"Hey Claes," A certain blonde teased, "You ever pretend to _stab_ a piece of meat like you were _stabbing_ somebody in the throat? You should try it. It's fun!"

* * *

"Hey, Jean?" Lorenzo asked, "Have you seen the new guy?"

"Last I saw him, he was at the cafeteria having a cup of coffee. Haven't seen him since, though…"

"Yeah, I know. It's the strangest thing," Lorenzo pondered, "It's like he disappeared out of thin air. You don't think he ran off somewhere, do you? Jesus Christ…"

"Tell me about it," Jean sighed, "For once, I'd like to have a normal day here…"

"Dammit. Well, you know what to do. Make it quick and clean, yeah?"

"Right," Jean nodded, "I'll have Rico bring her knives."


	35. Chapter 35

_**The Lighter Side**_

_**A **__**Gunslinger Girl**__** fan fiction by:**_

_**Sintendo**_

With past events behind them, Claes and Petrushka shared an afternoon meal together in the resident cafeteria. Still, curiosity boiled within from within the red-head so she mustered together all the courage she had (courage when it came to confronting her peers, that is), and asked a simple question, hoping not to rekindle the flame that is Claes.

"So Claes," She began, "Was I… the first to anger you by wearing your glasses?"

"Hm? Oh not at all." Claes responded with a nonchalant tone, "You aren't the only one to do that, so don't worry about it."

"Well… if I may ask… who was first to-?"

"Triela."

"Really? But she's like your best friend!"

"Yeah," Claes remained emotionless, "She's my best friend _now_, but…"

_**FLASHBACK!**_

"LOOKIT ME! I'M CLAES! BLAH BLAH BLAH! I LIKE BOOKS! BLAH BLAH BLAH! I LIKE TO BAKE CAKES! BLAH BLAH BLAH! I LIKE LISTENING TO MY MUSIC! BLAH BLAH BLAH!"

_**FLASH-FORWARD!**_

Petrushka's jaw hit the floor, "Impossible!"

"Oh no, it's true," From behind the girls, Hillshire sighed and was careful with his response, "Triela was… annoying… during her first few months with the agency. Things turned a complete 180 after Claes uh… joined up, and I have to say, I like it now more than before…"

"Heh," Claes finally smiled, "The wonders of the conditioning process…"

"Hey!" Triela called from across the room, "What's going on here, guys?"


End file.
